Been quiet

As i have discovered last night that the partner is cheating. An affair. He has no idea i know yet. I do not really know how to come out with it. I feel pretty broken.

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Feeling low and overwhelmed

I am finding work and changing jobs incredibly stressful, i should not feel this way as its for the best but i think i am struggling with the change. I feel physically sick and sad. I have a long day tomorrow at work and i just feel like running away. The partner is still here and i am dying to have the bed back to myself. I am panicking about Shopping for Christmas and i do not really know why as i am almost done. I have not been sleeping well and i do not know why. I think i am just having a low week. Hopefully next week will be better.
Hope everyone is well.

x

Good morning world.

So today i have a 102 things to do. I feel incredibly tired though so i think i will end up feeling shitty this afternoon. My mother has been very demanding this morning so my good mood from yesterday is in danger of changing pretty fucking quickly. Money worries are stressing me out today too as i have a lot to pay out over the next few days.
Im not sure being a adult is much fun at all. Its bloody freezing and i want to go back to bed with a hot water bottle.

Hope every one has a good positive day.
till later
x

That time of day..

When the red wine is opened and dinner is cooking. I have had a good day today. Im feeling chilled and refreshed ( providing i ignore the housework that needs to be done) Its such an amazing feeling to have enjoyed my day as i have so many that i just cant and dont enjoy. I have another day off tomorrow so i shall try and be productive tomorrow also.
Waiting for the crazy mother to return home, hoping for a peaceful evening. Fingers crossed. I have a busy weekend planned, which will keep me out of the house as much as possible. Its always easier to be out of the house at the weekends as that is when the crazy mother is at her worst. Way too much time for her drink and turn into a fucking psycho.

Hope everyone had a good day too.
x

Crazy busy

Had a manic couple of days, off work today so can get back to my Christmas planning. The UK had its first snowfall yesterday. Well local to me anyway. Here’s hoping for a lot more to come.
Home has been pretty settled for the last two days which makes a nice change although i dont suppose it will stay that way. It never does. I have a bad hangover today and have a shit ton of paper work to do, so lots of coffee will be needed. Im still very excited about the new job lined up, but need to get my ass in gear and work some stuff out. The partner has announced he is going to leave for a couple of days. which i think will be good for me as i need a breather. Things are changing between us. Hoping things will improve for me from now.
Hope everyone reading this has a great day and wish you all well.

till later
x

Too excited

Good evening,
I had a long long day at work but tonight Iv just been basically offered my dream fucking job. I’m too excited. I feel that this could be an amazing start of a incredible journey with learning opportunities ect that could aid my leaving this crazy house and finding my own feet. I have another long day at work tomorrow but I doubt il sleep much as I’m in such a high. I need to think a lot of my next few movements through since we are coming up Christmas ect. I must play my cards right.

Home life hasn’t been too bad for two days so that’s pretty nice. A few drinks but not my usual consumption. Hoping everyone out there is good!

Love to you all
X

Positive

Well i got the job although i need to decide whether the hours are going to be do able for me. I have just sat down with a large red wine and intend on watching a Christmas film with the children when they finish their homework. I have decided to maybe look at taking on another course to hep build my career.
The partner does not seem to be talking to me today although i am not too sure why, but i am not too sure i care either. I need to focus on pulling myself out of a hole and i think using work is a good way to try and do this.

Not enjoying the chill in the air today, i have been frozen all day.. I would not mind if snow came with it haha. So jealous of the snow people are getting at the moment and most of them do not even like it. All the berries have disappeared from the holly bush outside so i wonder whether we will have a bad winter as from what i have heard and read, if the birds take the berries early in winter it is a sign we will have a harsh one. Wild life are just amazing. We had a phenomenal summer for this country so quite possibly a bad winter is on the way. Fingers crossed.
Hope everybody is enjoying their day.

x